Monday, May 17, 2010

Thinking about some things...

So for those of you who thought I was a little lu-lu to still nurse my mcFats, here is a DOOZEY for ya -

I am back thinking about homeschooling my kids again.

Yup.  Certifiable.

And I say "again" because I tried it for a month at the same time as Ezra was born... recipe for utter failure.  Lincoln was in school before the month was over.  It was HARD!!  Four kids 6 and under and no one besides their sleep-deprived, blurry-eyed mother could read!!  My expectations of that month were completely unrealistic for anyone - and gave no allowance for a new baby.  So - I threw Lincoln (and Oli into Kindergarden) into the closest school, and gave up on the dream.

The thing about homeschooling though, is that I am completely converted to the idea of it.  I love creating a cirriculum based on what my kids strengths and weaknesses are, and catering to the things that they are interested in.  I love that they can learn to work, play and be invested in being a team.  I love talking to adults who were home schooled as children and hear of their experiences and see how cool, bright and interesting they are.  I love that other grade 2 kids would not determine what is "cool" for our family.  I love that they learn to play and love and help their siblings.  I love that not only would I know what they are learning about, I actually have a say.

That being said, I couldn't do it.  And then they kept going to school and liked it.  I liked it too - the teachers were great and they had friends who were nice.  But I still kept my fingers in the homeschooling scene.  Lincoln continued to go to Ecology Club at the university every Wed. morning.  And I would often talk to my SIL who home schools - wishing that I could have done it for my own kids.

In my head, I hated giving up on it.  I hated feeling like I failed, or that I wasn't tough enough to do it.

But now - events and conversations and promptings have led me there again.  Almost.

It just scares the free-holies out of me because this time, I know what I am getting into, but still don't KNOW what to do about it.

I also love the internet, because I can tell everybody what I am doing, but I don't actually have to see it in your face, or, if you are more blunt, hear that you think I am crazy.

And I don't need to hear it...because I already know ~!!

8 comments:

Krymsen said...

Well I don't think your crazy! I think it is a great idea. Other than the reasons you stated I am looking into it because I am a born control freak and can't stand the idea of not being able to know what my kids have been exposed to.
Rebecca is in Kindergarden now and loves it so it might just stay an idea...but maybe one day.

Sharon said...

i don't think you are crazy either. if i weren't so lazy and so poor at planning i would totally do it!
kudos to you! do what's right for you and your family!

akathemom said...

Hahahaha you are so great!!!
You guys will make the right decision. And either way, you will feel good and be able to do it!

p.s. - so are you saying I'm lu-lu???

Janine said...

Well, I think you are crazy...but who isn't??? And it has nothing to do with homeschooling... ha ha. But at least you are the kind of crazy I can relate to and enjoy. Why don't you homeschool your kids here, at my house? My older ones could watch all of them and we could play all day!

Which is what would happen if I tried it. They would all be illiterate...but I would be a great shopper and runner!!

But I have always seen the draw of having my kids at home with me...but ask me again at the end of summer.

Speaking of which...come here and play!

The Coopers said...

Umm you are very BRAVE. I know i could never do it, but i LOVE the idea of knowing what your kids are exposed too and who they are exposed too.. good for you though.. you are an awesome mom and will do whatever you think is best for them, and hopefully for you too! Good luck!

missLaura said...

I'm with Janine, I think you are crazy and it has nothing to do with homeschooling.
I love crazy and wouldn't change you.

suzanne said...

You cannot see my face & my lips are sealed, but you know what I am thinking.
Actually, you can do anything you are determined to do, if you know in your heart it is right. It is the unfor seen that makes us waiver.

Mandy said...

I toyed with the idea of home schooling for Tanner but I decided that I would work on balancing all the great ideas that are homeschooling with him going to a public school. good luck.