Oh, Holy Barf

I, like almost the rest of the entire world, am on Facebook.  And because of this, I often mentally dialogue my life in terms of status updates.  Not that I actually write them 95% of the time - but they cross my mind.

Maja Neilson Russell:  "Just changed the 10th diaper of the day and it's not even noon"

Maja Neilson Russell:  "Wants to know why I wash all the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher..."

Maja Neilson Russell:  "Got all the beds made today and think I am pretty awesome."

Maja Neilson Russell:  "Although as grateful as I am that Paul got in, I periodically think med school is for the birds."

You get the idea.

But there has only been ONE status update that has been on my mind for the last 6 weeks:

Maja Neilson Russell:  "Oh, Holy Barf."

Not that anyone has been doing it a lot around here, it is just all I want to do.  Every. Single. Minute. Of. The. Day.

So yes.  That is exactly what all of you are immediately wondering and WHY I couldn't put that as a Facebook status.

Russell #5 appearing early March 2011.

And while I am excited and scared to death, all I can really think about is Oh, Holy Barf.

The Runner Among Us

So - you may have read (from Laura's blog) - that she just finished her 2nd marathon.  It was seriously incredible.

I have never, ever understood or even had the remotest desire to run a marathon.  42 kilometers is a LONG FREAKING WAY!!!!!  There is a point driving back from Saskatoon to Calgary where you can see the skyline faintly in the distance, and even though you are still forever away, you can make out buildings.  At this point, there is a sign that says: "Calgary city centre - 42km".  I think of a marathon every single time I see that sign.  And it makes me want to barf to think my own feet would propel me that far in just a few measly hours!  Sure, if I had a week, maybe...  But in one day?!?!  All at once?!?!?  Without stopping???


Not a chance. 

But then I was watching "The Biggest Loser" (seriously love that show, even if it does make me feel guilty for watching it while I am eating a large bowl of ice cream), and they were training for a marathon.  It dawned on me that marathons are just as much about mental fortitude as it is about strength and endurance.  To mentally commit to the task, plan, prepare and persevere through the HOURS of boredom is probably just as tough as the physical act of moving your body forward.  Well, it might not be for some people, but it definitely would be for me.

I went to watch Laura run and it was awesome!!!!  She worked so hard and pushed and trained and was rewarded with accomplishing an incredible goal.  More than anything, I was so dang proud of her for doing what would be an impossible thing for me.  We saw her 3 times, and at the last I ran a short ways with her (uphill, just after I scarfed down a granola bar and in rain boots.  It was only a short way before I had to veer off to the bushes and PUKE.  Captain Cardio - to the rescue!!  Yep - my marathon experience of 200 feet was AWESOME!!)

Which brings me back to my original point.  I still don't ever want to run a marathon.  Ever.  But I feel like at least now I get what drives people and makes them want to do such an insane thing.  And all the power to them.  Way to go Laura - you are a machine!!

Thinking about some things...

So for those of you who thought I was a little lu-lu to still nurse my mcFats, here is a DOOZEY for ya -

I am back thinking about homeschooling my kids again.

Yup.  Certifiable.

And I say "again" because I tried it for a month at the same time as Ezra was born... recipe for utter failure.  Lincoln was in school before the month was over.  It was HARD!!  Four kids 6 and under and no one besides their sleep-deprived, blurry-eyed mother could read!!  My expectations of that month were completely unrealistic for anyone - and gave no allowance for a new baby.  So - I threw Lincoln (and Oli into Kindergarden) into the closest school, and gave up on the dream.

The thing about homeschooling though, is that I am completely converted to the idea of it.  I love creating a cirriculum based on what my kids strengths and weaknesses are, and catering to the things that they are interested in.  I love that they can learn to work, play and be invested in being a team.  I love talking to adults who were home schooled as children and hear of their experiences and see how cool, bright and interesting they are.  I love that other grade 2 kids would not determine what is "cool" for our family.  I love that they learn to play and love and help their siblings.  I love that not only would I know what they are learning about, I actually have a say.

That being said, I couldn't do it.  And then they kept going to school and liked it.  I liked it too - the teachers were great and they had friends who were nice.  But I still kept my fingers in the homeschooling scene.  Lincoln continued to go to Ecology Club at the university every Wed. morning.  And I would often talk to my SIL who home schools - wishing that I could have done it for my own kids.

In my head, I hated giving up on it.  I hated feeling like I failed, or that I wasn't tough enough to do it.

But now - events and conversations and promptings have led me there again.  Almost.

It just scares the free-holies out of me because this time, I know what I am getting into, but still don't KNOW what to do about it.

I also love the internet, because I can tell everybody what I am doing, but I don't actually have to see it in your face, or, if you are more blunt, hear that you think I am crazy.

And I don't need to hear it...because I already know ~!!

It is that Time of Year Again

I have a love/hate relationship with spring.  It is such a huge relief to get out of the (let's be honest) demoralizing winter's of Saskatchewan.  They are so long, so cold and so painful that when spring comes - you grab hold of tight, like a treasured prize you are afraid to lose.  I feel like I can start being social again! I no longer want to hide out in my house in hibernation mode!

But with the spring - in Saskatoon anyway, comes a whole different wave of sadness.  We, like many of our friends, are Alberta/BC ex-pats.  We came to Saskatchewan with the lure and hope of being able to get into the college of our husband's dream's (mostly Dental, but a few crazies want Vet Med, Medicine, Education, Pharmacy or Law).  Like our friends we moved away from family and have had babies out here and have raised young families.  It is a unique place where people come, try to get in, stay a few years and then - move on.

And every spring it happens - people move on.  I am so grateful for spring to finally arrive here, but also hate that it is always associated with farewells.  I am so happy for the friends that I have made here over the years, and equally happy for my friends - that they get to move on to the next chapter of life (What?  You can actually be DONE school AND make money?????), but I am sad for me to say goodbye.

This year we say goodbye to the Jubber's, Stone's (maybe not?), Gauthier's, Cooper's, Baker's and Jahn's. We will really miss you guys.

Nursing

Since Ezra is now, umm...  *about* 19 3/4 months old, many of you must assume that surely I must be talking about the profession.  But no - this post is about why I am still nursing my man-child.  I felt like I had to do this as almost a confessional - but I am just getting over a bout of mastitis and my secret came out.  Yes, I am still nursing.  And I know that I must stop soon.  But for now - this is why:

a)  He is such a cutie and when I ask him if he wants to nurse, he says through a closed mouth this high, soft "um-hum"with a raised intonation at the end.  It melts me!   it is so freaking cute, it gets me.  Every. Single. Time.

b)  He doesn't talk yet!  He has a couple words, but for the most part he is just a happy, easy going baby who lets his brother's and sister do all the talking for him.  (The doctor said he has fluid in his ears and may need tubes... but I don't know any more details yet.)   And if he was to come up to me and say, "Mom, would you please let me have some breast milk" I just might barf.  No words=not gross.  At least not yet.

c)  It doesn't slow me down or impede on my life in any way.  I get a couple extra minutes of snuggle-time/sleep in the morning - and who would object to that?!?

d)  The AMA and CPA (American Medical Assoc., Canadian Ped. Assoc and pretty much any other Assoc. that has anything to do with kids) all recommend that you nurse "to 2 years and beyond".  Ok, really????  It is crazy to think that is what they recommend.  I am feeling weird enough that I am still nursing him and he is still less than 2.  But whatever.

e)  Have you seen me in the last 6 months?  I have lost 40 lbs!!!!!  Not entirely sure how - it may be a combination things, but I am pretty sure nursing has had something to do with it.  Seriously though - I am more than a little nervous to be completely done!  I am loving my skinny jeans and am quite sure I am not wanting to open up my Big Bin again.

f)  He isn't my last baby (at least I don't think he is), but I am recognizing that this time is limited.  So very, very short.  Maybe that is why I have nursed him for about 4 months longer than any of my other kids.  

g)  Those eyes...

It won't be for much longer, but for now I just had to say it.  

My name is Maja Russell and I still nurse.

My Best Frien-Emy

Did you know that problem gamblers can have themselves banned from their choice of casino(s) for an entire year?  That is freaking awesome!  For people who recognize they have a problem, (and likely after a really BAD binge) they can talk to the manager and have themselves put on a no-trespassing list along with their photo ID.  That way, when days pass and the remorse of the previous bender is forgotten and they want to go back, need to even, they are arrested on the spot for trespassing.  Seriously, it is BRILLIANT.  What better way to help someone who has an issue?  Keep them from the source!

Now, if only I could convince Costco to do this for me - I would be very, very happy (or, more to the point, Paul would be very, very happy...)  After trying to find a home for 14 boxes of cereal from our last trip, I think I may have a problem.

And NEED to be put on that list.

Match Maker Lincoln

+

Lincoln - "Mom, I need you to pull my loose tooth tonight."

Me - "Sure (I love pulling their teeth out and normally it's a fight), but why tonight?"

Lincoln - "So the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy can meet!!!"

Love that kid.