The Runner Among Us

So - you may have read (from Laura's blog) - that she just finished her 2nd marathon.  It was seriously incredible.

I have never, ever understood or even had the remotest desire to run a marathon.  42 kilometers is a LONG FREAKING WAY!!!!!  There is a point driving back from Saskatoon to Calgary where you can see the skyline faintly in the distance, and even though you are still forever away, you can make out buildings.  At this point, there is a sign that says: "Calgary city centre - 42km".  I think of a marathon every single time I see that sign.  And it makes me want to barf to think my own feet would propel me that far in just a few measly hours!  Sure, if I had a week, maybe...  But in one day?!?!  All at once?!?!?  Without stopping???


Not a chance. 

But then I was watching "The Biggest Loser" (seriously love that show, even if it does make me feel guilty for watching it while I am eating a large bowl of ice cream), and they were training for a marathon.  It dawned on me that marathons are just as much about mental fortitude as it is about strength and endurance.  To mentally commit to the task, plan, prepare and persevere through the HOURS of boredom is probably just as tough as the physical act of moving your body forward.  Well, it might not be for some people, but it definitely would be for me.

I went to watch Laura run and it was awesome!!!!  She worked so hard and pushed and trained and was rewarded with accomplishing an incredible goal.  More than anything, I was so dang proud of her for doing what would be an impossible thing for me.  We saw her 3 times, and at the last I ran a short ways with her (uphill, just after I scarfed down a granola bar and in rain boots.  It was only a short way before I had to veer off to the bushes and PUKE.  Captain Cardio - to the rescue!!  Yep - my marathon experience of 200 feet was AWESOME!!)

Which brings me back to my original point.  I still don't ever want to run a marathon.  Ever.  But I feel like at least now I get what drives people and makes them want to do such an insane thing.  And all the power to them.  Way to go Laura - you are a machine!!

Thinking about some things...

So for those of you who thought I was a little lu-lu to still nurse my mcFats, here is a DOOZEY for ya -

I am back thinking about homeschooling my kids again.

Yup.  Certifiable.

And I say "again" because I tried it for a month at the same time as Ezra was born... recipe for utter failure.  Lincoln was in school before the month was over.  It was HARD!!  Four kids 6 and under and no one besides their sleep-deprived, blurry-eyed mother could read!!  My expectations of that month were completely unrealistic for anyone - and gave no allowance for a new baby.  So - I threw Lincoln (and Oli into Kindergarden) into the closest school, and gave up on the dream.

The thing about homeschooling though, is that I am completely converted to the idea of it.  I love creating a cirriculum based on what my kids strengths and weaknesses are, and catering to the things that they are interested in.  I love that they can learn to work, play and be invested in being a team.  I love talking to adults who were home schooled as children and hear of their experiences and see how cool, bright and interesting they are.  I love that other grade 2 kids would not determine what is "cool" for our family.  I love that they learn to play and love and help their siblings.  I love that not only would I know what they are learning about, I actually have a say.

That being said, I couldn't do it.  And then they kept going to school and liked it.  I liked it too - the teachers were great and they had friends who were nice.  But I still kept my fingers in the homeschooling scene.  Lincoln continued to go to Ecology Club at the university every Wed. morning.  And I would often talk to my SIL who home schools - wishing that I could have done it for my own kids.

In my head, I hated giving up on it.  I hated feeling like I failed, or that I wasn't tough enough to do it.

But now - events and conversations and promptings have led me there again.  Almost.

It just scares the free-holies out of me because this time, I know what I am getting into, but still don't KNOW what to do about it.

I also love the internet, because I can tell everybody what I am doing, but I don't actually have to see it in your face, or, if you are more blunt, hear that you think I am crazy.

And I don't need to hear it...because I already know ~!!

It is that Time of Year Again

I have a love/hate relationship with spring.  It is such a huge relief to get out of the (let's be honest) demoralizing winter's of Saskatchewan.  They are so long, so cold and so painful that when spring comes - you grab hold of tight, like a treasured prize you are afraid to lose.  I feel like I can start being social again! I no longer want to hide out in my house in hibernation mode!

But with the spring - in Saskatoon anyway, comes a whole different wave of sadness.  We, like many of our friends, are Alberta/BC ex-pats.  We came to Saskatchewan with the lure and hope of being able to get into the college of our husband's dream's (mostly Dental, but a few crazies want Vet Med, Medicine, Education, Pharmacy or Law).  Like our friends we moved away from family and have had babies out here and have raised young families.  It is a unique place where people come, try to get in, stay a few years and then - move on.

And every spring it happens - people move on.  I am so grateful for spring to finally arrive here, but also hate that it is always associated with farewells.  I am so happy for the friends that I have made here over the years, and equally happy for my friends - that they get to move on to the next chapter of life (What?  You can actually be DONE school AND make money?????), but I am sad for me to say goodbye.

This year we say goodbye to the Jubber's, Stone's (maybe not?), Gauthier's, Cooper's, Baker's and Jahn's. We will really miss you guys.

Nursing

Since Ezra is now, umm...  *about* 19 3/4 months old, many of you must assume that surely I must be talking about the profession.  But no - this post is about why I am still nursing my man-child.  I felt like I had to do this as almost a confessional - but I am just getting over a bout of mastitis and my secret came out.  Yes, I am still nursing.  And I know that I must stop soon.  But for now - this is why:

a)  He is such a cutie and when I ask him if he wants to nurse, he says through a closed mouth this high, soft "um-hum"with a raised intonation at the end.  It melts me!   it is so freaking cute, it gets me.  Every. Single. Time.

b)  He doesn't talk yet!  He has a couple words, but for the most part he is just a happy, easy going baby who lets his brother's and sister do all the talking for him.  (The doctor said he has fluid in his ears and may need tubes... but I don't know any more details yet.)   And if he was to come up to me and say, "Mom, would you please let me have some breast milk" I just might barf.  No words=not gross.  At least not yet.

c)  It doesn't slow me down or impede on my life in any way.  I get a couple extra minutes of snuggle-time/sleep in the morning - and who would object to that?!?

d)  The AMA and CPA (American Medical Assoc., Canadian Ped. Assoc and pretty much any other Assoc. that has anything to do with kids) all recommend that you nurse "to 2 years and beyond".  Ok, really????  It is crazy to think that is what they recommend.  I am feeling weird enough that I am still nursing him and he is still less than 2.  But whatever.

e)  Have you seen me in the last 6 months?  I have lost 40 lbs!!!!!  Not entirely sure how - it may be a combination things, but I am pretty sure nursing has had something to do with it.  Seriously though - I am more than a little nervous to be completely done!  I am loving my skinny jeans and am quite sure I am not wanting to open up my Big Bin again.

f)  He isn't my last baby (at least I don't think he is), but I am recognizing that this time is limited.  So very, very short.  Maybe that is why I have nursed him for about 4 months longer than any of my other kids.  

g)  Those eyes...

It won't be for much longer, but for now I just had to say it.  

My name is Maja Russell and I still nurse.

My Best Frien-Emy

Did you know that problem gamblers can have themselves banned from their choice of casino(s) for an entire year?  That is freaking awesome!  For people who recognize they have a problem, (and likely after a really BAD binge) they can talk to the manager and have themselves put on a no-trespassing list along with their photo ID.  That way, when days pass and the remorse of the previous bender is forgotten and they want to go back, need to even, they are arrested on the spot for trespassing.  Seriously, it is BRILLIANT.  What better way to help someone who has an issue?  Keep them from the source!

Now, if only I could convince Costco to do this for me - I would be very, very happy (or, more to the point, Paul would be very, very happy...)  After trying to find a home for 14 boxes of cereal from our last trip, I think I may have a problem.

And NEED to be put on that list.

Match Maker Lincoln

+

Lincoln - "Mom, I need you to pull my loose tooth tonight."

Me - "Sure (I love pulling their teeth out and normally it's a fight), but why tonight?"

Lincoln - "So the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy can meet!!!"

Love that kid.

Blind as a Bat, Mad as a Hatter!!

I wear glasses.  Not because I think it will make me look cool or smarter, but because I am BLIND without them.  Like "if-I-put-them-down-and-I-don't-remember-where-I-put-them-I-will-never-see-again" kind of way.  It is a monster pain in the A.  And I often wonder what I would have done if I was born several hundred years ago; I would have been in MAJOR trouble.  Seriously, what did people with massive astigmatism and near-sightedness do?  As I learned today, just day to day functioning is seriously limited when you can't see.  I changed Ezra's diaper and had to be about 5 inches away to see what the heck I was doing.  Yeah.  Major Disgust-o.

As I wear glasses and need glasses... my sweet last born loves to mutilate glasses.  It gives him great pleasure and joy to bend them, find that sweet spot of resistance, and then Keep. On.  Pushing.  I always leave my glasses on my bedside table, because, well, see above paragraph.  But every so often he gets to them in the morning before I am awake and lays into them in new and creative ways.  After taking them to get fixed after three different "episodes" I had one side held together by a twist tie.

Anyway, I have wanted to get my eyes lasered for the last 10 years.  But it is expensive, and to do it, they slice into your cornea!!! I am sorry, but that is just so creepy to think about.  I know it is no big deal, that the quality of my life would improve, I would have new found freedom, blah blah blah, but it still scares the crap of me and I can't pull the trigger on it.  I have had the consult twice and have even booked the surgery a few times, but pull out every single time.  

So today Ezra got to my glasses again.  This time he really showed them who was boss.  The count: Ezra 5, glasses 0.  This was the equivalent of a flat-line.  I literally woke up to the sound of the flapping arm of my glasses.  This time, I knew there was nothing that could be done.  They were officially destroyed.  I was so upset because, since I am planning on getting my eyes lasered, I am out of contacts.  This meant, I was going to be virtually blind until I could get in for surgery!!  NOT COOL EZRA!!!!!!!!

I talked to Laura - my fantastic SIL who lives across the street (one of the main reasons why we moved) and she happily came over to my rescue.  She found the missing lens (I of course couldn't see to find it), and Woody dropped the deeply injured frames off at Saskatoon Optical (here is a plug because if they can't fix them, no one can) on his way to school. Miracle of miracles, they were able to repair them and Laura picked them up that afternoon.  I had booked the surgery for Friday, but now that I can see again, I am not too sure...!

I was so insanely grateful to Woody and Laura who saved the day.  I nearly threw the stronger-than-he-should-be-boy-mangled glasses out but Wood took over and knew where to take them.  It was seriously awesome of them, and even more awesome to be able to see again.  Thanks again guys.

Now, what to do about the surgery...???