Grown Men Don't Cuddle Their Mom's

Today is going to be a very l-o-n-g day.  Paul and I are NOT go-to-bed-early kind of people, but were both so exhausted last night that we were asleep by 9:30(!).  Crazy!  New record.  But as I was about to fall asleep, I felt happy that I would be so well rested for tomorrow because I have a scary amount of stuff that I have to do in the next 3 weeks (we are moving, but got possession of the house last evening and have until the 31st to paint most of the new house, pack, move and unpack.)  So everyday is going to be a Very. Big. Day. 

At about 12:30am, I woke up obsessing about all that I need to do.  I finally got out of bed half an hour later and worked on a master list hoping that I would be able to sleep after I wrote it all out.  After finally feeling tired again at 3:30, I thought I would try again to go back to sleep.  After another 20 minutes of lying there - I heard little footsteps get out of bed, a tentative turn of our squeaky door knob, and an announcement of a bad dream.  Lincoln crawled into bed on my side and I happily snuggled up to him, grateful for the diversion to my brain on hyper-plan mode.  He quickly fell asleep and as I lay there, holding my oldest I was in shock.  He was 7.5 years old!  When did that happen?  How did it happen?

And more importantly, how much longer would he climb into our bed because of a bad dream?

At that moment, I had an epiphany -  Grown men don't cuddle their mothers.  (Maybe sometimes a grown daughter - but I don't think it happens often.  I know, I know, very weird thing to think about - but still.)

Which meant that all this loveliness of fixing my children's problems by simply snuggling up was fleeting.

It made me so sad and joyful all at once.  Sad that I couldn't freeze the moment, sad that I could only hold him then until I had to get up to go to the bathroom, sad that there will all too soon come a time where my children won't need their mom so much.

And so joyful that I got to realize it!!!  Charlotte came in about 20 minutes after Lincoln and I was so glad that instead of being annoyed at my cramped space, I was in bliss!  I was sandwiched by 2 little sweet bodies!  I kept thinking - ok Ez, Oli... where are you guys?!?!  Don't you know about the party in here??

I finally got why you can cry when you are sad and cry when you are happy, because at that moment I could have cried for both.

My mind wandered back to my master list.  I still have to pack, paint, unpack and it is still a gross amount of work.  But my strategy is different.  My previous plan was to divert the kids as much as possible.  (Hello Treehouse!)  But now I want them there - packing, (and them unpacking what I pack), unpacking (breaking/messing up my perfectionism), and even painting (and the utter disaster that will ensue).  But I want them there for everything - because too soon they won't be.

Sorry about the sap level, but it is now 5:40 am and I have yet to go back to sleep, AND this is the closest I get to a journal... so there you go.

But I really think I am going to get "Grown Men Don't Cuddle Their Mom's" in vinyl and put it up somewhere so I don't forget that beautiful moment, because it really was beautiful.

I just am not excited about explaining my weirdness to all who see it.

Done and Done!

So with no taxes looming, obviously there is not much that I can think of that is blog worthy.

EXCEPT

I finished chem 30 Monday night

And I got a 96 overall.

Yep - feeling pretty good.

Although, I have to admit - that 4% is really, SERIOUSLY, bugging me.

The parts that I AM happy about:

• It is such a transition from when I took it in high school and failed.  I would never go to class and would regularly skip unit tests.  I have now learned that it is kinda helpful to attend AND write tests in an attempt to get good grades.
• It was a challenge.  Not only was the class hard on my unused brain, but also finding time to study with the kids
• Two times a week, I would walk out the door, Paul put the kids to bed and I could think of something other than diapers, dinner preparations and cleaning.  One night - after a particularly exasperating day, Paul asked if I wanted to go to class - I was shocked at how vehemently I responded YES!  It was seriously fantastic to walk out the door to do something that I genuinely enjoyed.  (As I was rewriting my notes one day with my brightly coloured pen collection, Paul came into the office, saw what I was doing and said, "Nerd it up, Poindexter.  Nerd it up!"  I did, do, and love it.
• One day I went and was sitting beside my friend Brittany.  She is 18 and young and cute and trying to get into dental hygiene.  I looked down, looked at her and realized we were wearing EXACTLY the same outfit!  I commented to her how awesome she must feel wearing the exact same outfit as a 32 yr old mom of 4!!  I am sure she was super pumped!!!
• I can finally graduate from high school!  Class of 2009 BABY!!!  I was short 2 credits and, even though I could write Alberta Education a letter and get the 2 credits from "life experience" - I just always thought that was LAME.  So, this was always the plan - to get chem 30 and graduate.  It only took me 14 years to do it.  As a side note, I did go to university (- haven't quite finished that either... noticing a pattern yet?  Hello, ADD!) and at this rate will be 147 when I graduate from univeristy, but hey.  Long term goals.)
• IT WAS FREE!!  Thank you Saskatchewan tax payers!!!

But it is done. And I am mostly happy.  And I may or may not ever get over that 4%.

Now on to Physics 30 in Jan!

What's in your pockets?

At my class today, my teacher asked if someone in the class had a dime.  Since I neglected to bring my wallet, I emptied my pockets to see if I had one stashed somewhere.

From my pockets, I pulled out:

• one spool of white thread
• 2 screws
• a piece of lego
• a bobby pin
• Canadian Tire money
• An air inflator pin
• an iPod
• Lincoln's tooth (in a baggy so you are not TOO grossed out (top front that he just lost yesterday)
• A Toonie from the tooth fairy, that somehow ended up back in my pocket.

No dime.  But I was pretty sure that being a mom made my pocket contents the most interesting in the class...

Now I super curious - does every mom have random stuff in their pockets at the end of the day?  What are in your pockets right now?  If you feel like leaving a comment about this - it would make my day.  I really want to know!

Just Because This Brought Me So Much Joy...

These are the proofs for Oliver's school pictures this year...

He said, "I was trying to smile, but my face wouldn't let me!"

I have never loved a picture more, nor has one made me laugh so hard.

Thank you Oli - you made my day.

You can click on it to see all of its full glory...

Update

Man, I am the worst at updates.  As requested, here is some more info...

California was awesome and... no earthquakes.  Wicked.  The shoot was super fun. but I am not sure when/if they will use the footage.  They do it with 4 different people every 6 weeks and so get an overload of material.  At first I was a little bummed that it might not be used - like maybe it was an indicator that they weren't thrilled with what I said. And what about my friends whom I had told about the shoot, and then... no Maja.  I wouldn't want anyone to think I had LIED!  And then, I realized, all that was the ca-RAZY talking, and in the end if they didn't use it, I still got a fantastic free trip to California with my sweet Hubs and Chubs (aka Saskatoon Fats, McChub...  Ezra) AND I don't have to be on tv talking ABOUT MY ACNE.  Turns out, I am perfectly ok with option #2.

Photos of the shoot:

At the Getty with the cute boys...  (Just as an FYI - Ezra really was the star of the shoot - they ATE up the chubbiness)

Now on to Lincoln - he is getting BETTER!!!!  I really started to notice a difference when I got home from church on Sunday.  And then on Monday - it was like he was himself again.  He got dressed!!!!  For the first time in 10 days!!!!  AND said he was "really hungry and sick and tired of fasting..."  haha!   I was over the moon with relief and so, so grateful that he was getting better.  I kept hugging him all day and yelling - You are getting BETTER!!  I am so HAPPY!

And then, as I was walking out of my house to an exam, Lincoln said he was super itchy.  So I checked him out and the poor kid was covered in HIVES!  I mean head to toe, can't stop scratching welt-y looking nastiness.  I went from utter elation of having him improve so dramatically to despair that he was allergic to the antibiotic that was saving his life.  It was all I could do to not sob.  I was more upset at the sight of those things than going to the hospital in an ambulance.  At that point I was still in ignorance to the gravity of the situation, but now I was fully aware of the seriousness.  And he couldn't take the drug anymore.

And I was going to class to write an EXAM.

Every question I read my head spun thinking of Lincoln.  Do I take him back to the ER?  Walk-in?  How does Le Chatellier's principle apply to...?  How can I phone the health line, ER, family friends who are doctors from here?  What is the concentrations of products and reactants at equilibrium?  Is this as big a deal as I am making it out to be in my head???

I could hardly read my eyes were so blurred from tears.

Finally I finished and got a hold of our friend Kevin, who is nearing the end of his residency in family med and calmed my super over reactive fears.  He said Lincoln wasn't likely allergic, and I should continue on with the treatment.

What a stress though.  I did as Kevin told me, and sure enough - there has been nothing more.  And he keeps getting better; and more and more bored at being at home.  He really could go back tomorrow, but I will likely keep him home until Monday just to be on the safe side.

So there - updated!!  Thanks again for all your prayers, well wishes and support.  It meant a lot to me to know so many people cared.


(And an update on the exam... I got 96%.) 

PS

This is what I am doing instead of my taxes.  Which really need to be done, and I REALLY don't want to do.  We'll see how many posts I do before I finish them...  (this is post 4 in less than 24 hours.  Good grief.)

TLC's 18 Kids and Counting

I have a new favourite show on tv that I LOVE -  TLC's 18 Kids and Counting!!!  It is on my PVR, and I record all episodes, new and old.  When it starts, I start smiling, and the goofy grin stays on my face THE ENTIRE TIME I watch it.  To be honest, it is hard for me to explain why I love it so much, but I am going to try because I think it is so good that everybody should watch it.  (Once you get over that fact that the dad's name is Jim-Bob and the initial shock to the cheesiness-  you get used to it and then start to enjoy it.  And I mean, really love it!)

1. It does not have extra-ordinarily beautiful people on it, but they are extra-ordinary people which makes them beautiful.
2. It is not the funniest show on tv (30 Rock holds that title), but, like I said earlier - I am smiling the entire time it is on.
3. There is no drama, astounding wit or intense situation.  Unless you count living with 21 people.  That would be a lot of drama for me.
4. It is the only show on tv that I can think of that they talk about God.  They talk about their beliefs, and you see it in action.  I love that they can talk about God.  He has become so taboo that the only time you hear His name on tv now, it is taken in vain.  So this is such a great change.
5. It seriously inspires me.  There are so many things that I see, and think, Yeah.  I want to do that. For example, I try so hard to never yell anymore because they don't yell at their kids.  Ever.  Did I mention there are 18 of them?  And they are not all over the age of 20.  They have little ones, Lincoln, Oliver, Charlotte, and Ezra's age - plus probably a couple more in the same age span.  And no yelling.  They explained it one show that they want to show by example how the kids need to learn to respond.  Love that.  But I am, by nature, a Neilson.  And Neilson's are LOUD (Happy loud, mad loud, excited loud...  My nana used to tell me "Soft and classy, not loud and Brassy."  Now I tell that to Charlotte and it has come full circle.  She is ALL Neilson - a mini Maja in fact.)  Anyway - back to the Duggar's...
6. They homeschool.  I went down that crazy road last year and it only lasted a month, but I keep holding it in my heart that maybe I will do it again.  (And as a side note - for all intents and purposes I am doing again, simply because Lincoln will be missing at least a month's worth of school due to this nasty virus.)  I love that she does it though.  LOVE it.  The kids are so happy and the environment is so protected.  And by the the time they get old enough to be out in the world, they make good decisions because that is how they have been taught.
7. They teach modesty to the kids.  They don't let the boys see immodesty in others and if someone is approaching who is dressed inappropriately, they say the Code Word "Nike" and the boys drop their eyes.  The girls are covered and modest and don't think anything of it.  They want people to focus on their faces, not their bodies.  While extreme, it sure makes a lot of sense.
8. They all work hard, play hard and are live providently.  Does that even make sense?  I feel as though they are what most LDS people strive to be.  
9. They are good, righteous, wholesome people who make me want to be better.  And I see how they live and think, "they are living the gospel better than me!!"  I need to work on that!!  (And no, they are not LDS, but holy cow they should be!)  But it is awesome to feel that way after WATCHING A TV SHOW. The ironic thing is they don't watch tv.  At all.  I think they have a 10" screen with rabbit ears that they dig out of the closet to watch if the parents are being interviewed. So many things for me to work on...

OK - so I said it would be hard to explain...  Maybe not so much seeing I could still go on and on. But don't take my word for it -check it out Tues. night on TLC (the Learning Channel).  It is so nice to see something so GOOD on tv and I want to support that kind of television.  Not just by watching it, but also by telling other people about it.